Out in the cold I stand,
Looking on at the world sitting tight,
With its people in their nice little worlds,
And the friends who don’t even know me.
It really makes no difference to their world where I am.
If I’m there, it keeps going.
If I’m not, it goes on.
While I walk around, wandering, wondering,
My mind a mass of mixed-up machinery,
Clashing with conflicts and unanswered questions.
I don’t ask the world if it is real-
It sits up there on its foundations,
Secure, concrete, hard, stone and real.
But maybe I’m not real
Or if I am, maybe I shouldn’t be.
They answer, ‘Smile, God loves you’,
But I can’t smile.
I’m numbed by cold inside and out.
Even the heat in the square brick buildings
Would only warm my body, nothing else.
I’m alone in a world full of people,
Apart, shut up inside myself,
Cold, unfeeling, in a cold unfeeling world.
- Unknown student @ Wheaton College.
